I'M RAD.

i have taken the liberty of erasing everything except the most important parts of the most recent homestuck update

CONVENIENT TRANSLATION PROVIDED FOR THE BELOW

transNeightsons

http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005656

ok crew’s dead, guess that means stop sailing the ocean. instead I’m going to join forces with redglare’s dragon and patrol the skies. but we’ll be under cover so no one will recognize us. we’ll both have little mustaches and sunglasses, and ill change my name to MARQUISE HINDBANG

meanwhile I guess I better chill at the expatriate’s house, he owes me for giving him protection after he decided to be the ONLY HIGHBLOODED GUY TO EVER DEFY THE OTHER HIGHBLOODS. because he did a lowerblood. i thought that was cool because i love doing lowerbloods too so I was like SHIIIIT MAN, I GOT SOME GOOD WEBSITES, GET IT WEB BECAUSE I LIKE SPIDERS and then i was spider BUT NO HE JUST KEPT MOANING ABOUT HOW HE WAS BANISHED FOR BREAKING THE RULES and i stopped being spider and just frown

anyway when he finally got to work on making me a new arm, i told him all of my stories about what happened, except I said everything in old english so no one had any idea what the fuck i was saying TH E E ND

more translos, starting a few pages earlier

http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005653

my only regret is that i never got to hear her beatbox back at me. i bet her beats would have been SO ILL THAT i would have gotten pneumonia and died. at that point why even risk hanging around for the concert, just take my other arm and beat me to death with it. fuck. dress it up, put some glasses on it and a wig, put some lips on it. make it the band frontman and shit.

but really the only reason im being so sarcastic is because I was mad hatecrushing on her. her booty was a challenge and i had my climbing gear ready to scale mt. applebottom. bought a fucking oxygen tank because you know it takes my breath away. EXPEDITION CANCELLED.

we could have been scourge sisters, it would be like that tv show sister sister except vaguely incestual and a horrifying bloodbath to watch so actually better than that.

ANYWAY it was a good idea to take my arm redglare, because now not only do i have a good idea for my new band but also why does that guy have eyes for nipples.

WHEN I CAME TO COURT IT TURNED OUT TO BE A RE-ENACTMENT OF THE LASERDISC FIGHT FROM THE MOVIE TRON

http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005649

except the audience was all lowbloods instead of megaman

WOW ARE YOU SUBJUGGULATORS STUPID, why would you give me basically an army of mind control slaves. also staring into the dragons eyes gave me superpowers, you should stare into the sun too. this is daredevil’s origin story.

damn im starting to really like dragons too. i just want to dress up like a dragon and kiss people on the cheek. surprise people like that. i wanna go to dragonland with emmy and ord and wheezy go down the knuckerhole and FUCK I NEED TO IGNORE THESE NEW AND CONFUSING FEMININE URGES

fortunately, the audience, being raunchy low-bloods, could not resist the urges caused by my femininity. and by that i mean i convinced them all redglare was made of chocolate and because low bloods have to eat chocolate to keep their blood chocolately they did it. cue spongebob reference. im choo choo for chocolate puffs, etc. (ps i really am choochoo)

mindfangs bizarre adventure

http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005642

FROM NOW ON THIS JOURNAL WILL BE ILLEGIBLE BECAUSE my arm burned off so im going to be writing with my tongue, like this paper is your face

im writing this from jail, binky the clown and his jungle japes managed to capture me. I thought it was just another funny joke but it turns out they were serious. SERIOUSly they sent one chick and she was only really kinda hot. What reason would I have to fear. besides the fact that biologically troll breasts fire lasers and we could have killed each other at any time.

but seriously sending one person named NEOPHYTE seems like a last ditch effort. i thought i had it all in the bag, and i was ready to check out in the 7 items or less line. BUT as I soon discovered, you can’t judge a book by how big its boobs are. turns out she had other assets….

btw, how the fuck does a middleblood get raised by a GIANT dragon. people of her caste level are usually civil servants that just mow peoples lawns. usually they have bear lususes, or chicken lususes, or the really cool ones get motorcycle lususes and do frontflips out of the brooding cavern and make all the other wrigglers cry. but that only happened once and i just made it up. but thats what i would do if i was a lower caste.

BUT seriously how the fuck did she get a dragon. and a really AWESOME DRAGON.

something blocked the light of the unbitten moon. i say unbitten becuase five seconds later, her dragon literally ate the moon. it then became unseasonably dark as its shadow covered the sky. but thats redundant information because HOLY SHIT, IT ATE THE FUCKING MOON DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID.

i knew there was only one way to beat the dragon, and it was to challenge it to a staring contest, which I always win because I have 8 eyes and everyone else has 2. but that was a mistake because its eyes were MADE OF THE SUN, AND I STARED INTO IT TOO LONG AND ONE OF MY EYES TURNED RED AND DIED. i started blinking repeatedly TO GET THE SUN OUT.

When I regained sight in the other, there was only red.

it was mindfangs ass and it was hypnotic. i couldnt look away even though SHES ON MY DECK and then the fleet was on fire, because her dragon was sick and threw up. THE SUN.

Neophyte turned around gave me one of her ridiculous forced grins.

“MY LUSUS IS NAMED… PYRALSPITE,” she said, except more numbery because she speaks like she’s from Sesame Street.

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIIIIIIIIT,” I sang, drawing my blade and swinging it in the wrong direction. And then I turned around and started hamboning, just, like, slapping my knees and shit. Fronting. And beatboxing. YOU SCARED. YOU SCARED MINDFANG. DRAGON ATE MY LUSUS WHO CARES ILL GET A NEW LUSUS, THATS HOW I ROLL. U SCARED.

Then I started the bootyshake.

I forgot she was blind so she cut my arm off in the middle of my gyrations and flew off on her magic dragon, who ate it like a tiny dorito. leaving me alone, bleeding, on my burning ship. stupid sexy redglare. YOU THINK YOU DONT NEED TO CAPTURE ME TO HAVE MY SUBMISSION??? ILL HAVE YOU YET. SOOn…. soon…. after i get off of this boat….

ok sure put me on trial. im fucking oj simpson over here, im ready.

I wonder how well she knows it’s not what I do with my arms she has to fear?

^^^^ HOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHO

more mindfang journal translations lets do this

http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005418

ummm so binky the clownmaster decided to send NEOPHYTE REDGLARE to hunt me down at dualscar’s request. her nickname should be BOOB SAIBOT, because ive heard she’s quite talented, at having breasts. A RIVAL APPROACHES??? HA HA NO NEVER, I AM THE TITTYMASTER, I ALONE RULE THE MOUND OF MOUNDS

lmao obviously this is a sign the highbloods are GIVING UP… just sending me more ladies, for kicks… wow no wonder I don’t believe in the social order… the times they do get something right are few and far between… those pointy haired idiots….

MLID… (my life is dilbert)